How To Get The Girl
by nhannah
Summary: No matter what the obstacle, Uchiha Sasuke would always come out on top. When it comes to matters of the heart, however, the poor guy is completely hopeless! What's a guy to do? Why, ask help from Konoha's most loud mouthed Ninja, of course! [SasuSaku]


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Author's Note:** This is my first time writing Naruto fanfics, so be warned, there may contain some OOC-ness (though I'll do my best to keep it to a minimum). Anyways, this story is set after Sasuke has killed Itachi, and has gone through the process of redemption from his fellow villagers. He is more laid back than usual (since the biggest weight of his life had just been lifted off his shoulders), so, I guess that explains the uncharacteristic behaviour. Anyways, please drop a **review** before you leave!

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**How To Get The Girl**

'This is rediculous...' growled Uchiha Sasuke, his face twisted into one of deep annoyance and his pale cheeks stained with a light pink blush due to embarassment. 'Hiding like a pitiful coward...'

'Shh, teme!' hissed Uzumaki Naruto, his so-called best friend, the edges of the leaves they were currently hiding in brushing his short whiskers. 'She'll hear us!'

The Uchiha genius glared, but kept his growls as low as possible as he continued to crouch down behind a bush like a fool. The reason why he was in this position still seemed insane to him, even as he thought the day through ruefully, and grudgingly kept silent beside a gleeful-looking Naruto. It was rediculous! How could HE, the Uchiha prodigy, be here in the first place?

Well, it all started off two days ago, when his best friend, the most loud-mouthed ninja in the whole of Konoha, actually decided to notice his surroundings and act bright for the first time in his life...

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_**Two days earlier...**_

SLLLRP! Ssssslllrp!

Uchiha Sasuke watched with a disgruntled look on his face as Uzumaki Naruto continued to slurp loudly on his precious ramen. He made another face when he noticed some dark brown sauce splattered across his cheeks, causing a large trail of brown when he wiped it with the back of his wrist.

'Sooo... good!' exclaimed Naruto before releasing a huge burp of satisfaction and fishing his hands into his pocket for some coins. 'Ne... Sasuke-kun? I'm sort of out of cash... would you...?'

Sasuke sighed, pressing his fingers to his forehead in a most annoyed manner, before digging into his pockets and pulling out some money. 'Here,' muttered the raven-haired prodigy, slamming the coins onto the counter angrily. 'Can we go now, dobe?'

'Of course, teme!' said Naruto happily with a large, toothy grin. He received the money from Sasuke gratefully and handed it over to the owner of the ramen stand. 'Right after I have one more bowl of chicken ramen!'

If Uchiha Sasuke hadn't known Naruto for almost five years, and if Uchiha Sasuke wasn't always so calm and composed, he probably would have reached over to the blond to wring his neck silly – luckily for Naruto, however, these antics were starting to grow on him, and the Uchiha could only sigh as he waited for Naruto to finish his _seventh _bowl of Japanese noodles.

SLLLRP! Ssssslllllrp!

Sasuke sighed. _'There he goes again...' _he thought lazily.

As interesting as it was watching Uzumaki Naruto finish off his ramen in record time, Sasuke could not help but allow his mind to wander and his eyes to scan his surroundings.

Sasuke saw nothing of interest – just plain, ordinary people with plain, ordinary lives passed by his angle of view. Nothing caught his eye... nothing... nothing... _pink._

Sasuke blinked, instantly being reminded of the pink-haired kunoichi they were supposed to be meeting after lunch. He allowed his mind to fly off... he thought of how Sakura might have been worrying now as she awaited his arrival. He thought of the worried frown plastered across her face; causing the edges of her lips to fall. He thought of her lips – they were a light tint of pink, the same shade as her vivid pink hair. He wondered how they would taste, pressed against his own...

'_She'd probably taste like cherries,' _mused Sasuke to himself.

The Uchiha blinked. _What _was he doing? He shouldn't be thinking that way – not about the only female ninja in his team. It was just... _wrong... _and besides, she probably gave up her crush on him anyways.

Surprisingly to the ninja, the thought kind of upsetted him. He suddenly found himself desperately wanting back the old days... wanting back the many times she had proclaimed her love outloud to him.

'_Rediculous,' _thought the Uchiha, angry at himself for bringing up past events. _'Besides, she probably has a boyfriend by now.' _The addition of that sentence had caused a ripe, new sickening feeling to rise up inside the chest of Sasuke. The mere thought of her proclaiming herself to anyone OTHER than himself made him want to punch something...

So he punched Naruto.

'Teme!' shouted Naruto, obviously very much taken aback. 'What did you do THAT for?!' he continued over a mouthful of hot noodles.

Being the well-proclaimed ninja he was, Uchiha Sasuke did not go around sending "sorry" notes to everyone, so instead of doing the right thing and admiting his fault, Uchiha Sasuke snapped out the first retort that came to mind. 'Well, if your face hadn't been in the way, you wouldn't have gotten hurt, now would you?'

Sasuke inwardly winced at the stupidity of his counterback. He waited for Naruto's angry complaints...

It never came, for instead of paying full attention on Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto had his blue eyes focused on something else... something pink with jade-coloured eyes that sparkled to life when she spotted him.

'Hi, Sakura-chan!' greeted Naruto, waving his arm enthusiastically over Sasuke's head to motion Sakura over. 'Come join us for lunch!'

Pink lips – the same pink lips Sasuke had been fascinating over just seconds ago – curled upwards into a contempt smile as she skipped over towards her ex-team mates. Upon arrival, the young – albeit mature – kunoichi crossed her arms with a sign of mock-annoyance.

'I've been waiting all day for you!' she scolded, pretending to seem ticked-off as she tapped one foot impatiently against the ground. 'And here you are, stuffing yourself! The shame, Naruto, making a woman wait!'

'_Woman?' _repeated Sasuke to himself. It seemed so strange, linking such a word with the name "Haruno Sakura".

'_Then again...'_

As Sasuke thought it through, he concluded that Haruno Sakura was indeed a woman. She had grown much from the petite little kunoichi he used to associate (albeit rarely) to. She was stronger and prettier. Her chakra, indeed, had surpassed them all. She was a brilliant medic – second best only to Tsunade. Everything about her had grown, from her powers to... her body...

Sasuke flushed, hiding himself beneath the bangs of his raven hair. _'Don't even **go **there, Uchiha,' _he scolded, angrily.

It was one thing to feel jealous over the fact that his pink-haired team mate no longer held affections towards him, but the fact that he was noticing her _body _was a complete disgrace to the Uchiha name! Thinking of women in _that _way was beneath him! Only dobes like Naruto would go around fooling with hormonal instincts.

He was Uchiha Sasuke. THE Uchiha Sasuke. He shouldn't even be _thinking _of women at all!

'Sasuke-kun?'

Sasuke's ears pricked. His cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red from beneath the curtains of his raven-coloured bangs.

'Are you all right? You're looking sort of feverish.'

Even Naruto had stopped his slurping to turn towards the teme. The young blonde's crystal blue eyes twinkled curiously as he noted the Uchiha's change in character accurately. Instantaneously, Naruto's mind flashed back to an article he had read during one of his many scavenges through the... ahem... mature section of the local bookstore. _'How to Tell Whether You Like Her for More Than Just Sex', _was the title of the mentioned piece.

Number One: Flushed cheeks.

Naruto stared at his friend, trying to see through the mass of black hair that hid his face. His dear bastard of a friend was as red as the tomatoes he enjoyed so much!

Number Two: Stuttering of words/sentences.

'Sasuke-kun?' tried Sakura again, looking genuinely confused.

'I-I'm fine, S-Sakura,' said Sasuke quickly, trying to sound as snappish and rude as he usually did, but to no avail.

Number Three: Sweaty palms.

Naruto did not need to squint to realize that currently-dampened counter-top. Sasuke's hands were shaking like a leaf and sweating most uncharacteristically.

Number Four: Uncharacteristic behavior.

_No one _needed to look twice for that one. The image of THE Uchiha Sasuke blushing itself was enough to satisfy that condition.

'Sasuke-kun, let me check your temperature,' piped Sakura, reaching for Sasuke's forehead. Her good intention of attempting to cure the tomato-faced Uchiha, however, did nothing but worsen the situation further. As her palm met his skin, Uchiha Sasuke immediately stiffened and pushed her back on instinct. Seeing this, the young woman's eyes went wide and filled with uncertain tears. 'Sasuke-kun...?'

'I don't need your help,' glowered the Uchiha hastily. 'I'm _fine.'_

Jade eyes clouded over, but the young kunoichi was determined not to cry. She shook her head briskly, as if to clear her thoughts, and slipped on a fake smile of reassurance. 'O-okay, Sasuke-kun,' she said, her small smile wavering. 'I'll leave now. Bye, Naruto. Bye, Sasuke...'

Just as he was sure the bob of pink hair had rounded the corner, and was out of hearing-range, the young, no-longer red-faced Uchiha, groaned loudly as slammed his face onto the solid countertop; his careless motion causing a large swell on his forehead as he did so.

Question Number Five: Abnormal moodswings around romantic-interest.

_Definitely a check._

Sasuke opened a wary eye, as if noticing Naruto's presence for the first time. His suspicion grew even more at the look of said blonde's face – a malicious glint was twinkling in his blue eyes, and an ear-to-ear grin was plastered rediculously onto his face. Sasuke couldn't help but shudder (inwardly, of course).

'Soooo, _teme,_' purred Naruto, maliciously, as he purposely dragged every word. 'Sakura-chan... is pretty, ne?'

Sasuke's brilliant onyx-eyes flickered for an escape route. There was no where he could run without the dobe following him and suspecting something. What was a man to do? 'Hn.' His obvious reply.

'She's... gotten stronger, too...' said Naruto, playing with a loose thread. '...and she's smart. Very smart.'

'I've had enough of this conversation, dobe,' stated the Uchiha, rising from his seat in an attempt to leave the area.

Just as he had gotten a few feet away, however...

'She's single, you know, teme.'

Sasuke's ears pricked.

Naruto grinned. _Gotcha._

'How would you know?' asked Sasuke, trying to sound uninterested (which, of course, was the complete opposite of what he was feeling).

'She told me,' chirped Naruto, his ear-to-ear grin never leaving his face. His expression mischievious. His eyes maniacal. The little half of his brain running full-gear. 'She tells me everything, teme. Her favourite spots, her choice of food... her...' The blonde decided to add in a dramatic pause for better effect. '...love-interest...?'

Sasuke gulped. _'Okay, dobe. Have your fun.' _He took a deep breath. He put on his most controlled façade. He turned towards his giddy friend. 'You know what I don't, dobe,' he said, his voice as flat and in-control as possible.

'...So help me.'

The blonde smirked.

Sasuke was starting to regret his choice all ready.

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**Author's Note:** It wasn't THAT bad, was it? Okay, fine, so maybe it was. Anyways, I've tried my best, so please don't flame. Its my first effort of Naruto fanfics, after all. I tried to add some humor, but I guess it just really didn't fit. And also, my usage of past/present-tense has not been mastered. Don't kill me!

REVIEW!


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